Lizzy Appleby is a Haven client and member of the Haven Youth Board.She is a junior at New Trier High School.
My story begins at the start of my freshman year. It was a new school with new people and I was pretty excited. I had close friends, a great family, and a positive outlook. Downright awesome, really. Suddenly the ground dropped from beneath my feet, and I felt I was falling. Falling faster and deeper than I had ever fallen before. I was losing control. My grandparents’ home was destroyed in Katrina, which stressed out my mom and left her focusing on dealing with her parents. My best friend was emotionally and verbally abusive towards me, and, perhaps worst of all, I felt I had to deal with it alone.
At first, I cut. The release I got from that was enough to keep me relatively sane. But eventually, as it does with most, the secret pain, fear, and constant stress I was holding in started to ooze out through the cracks. My cousin, living with us at the time, discovered what I had known all along to be a bad habit, and told my mom abot my cutting.
The next day I was at Haven. The minute the door closed behind me, I felt this immense sense of relief. it was like I had spent the last two months playing tag, and I had finally found the safe zone. I started going to therapy there, and through that I’ve come to realize so many things about myself. I am strong. I can bounce back. And most importantly, I’ve learned that I’m human. I might screw up, but I still deserve all the things that humans need to be happy. Yet, Haven has given me so much more. I’m part of a youth board, and I’ve spent a fair amount of my spare time there just hanging out. The amazing staff there has shown me what compassion, fun, and positive change are all about. They are my role models, showing me joy and guiding me through all the trials and tribulations of adolescence. They are the adults I hope to be one day, leading young people like me to find the good in themselves and giving them opportunities to shine. They don’t allow me to be myself; they encourage me to show the world my crazy sense of humor and loud personality.
Haven is my home, my happy place. Haven is where I belong. It’s where I am a true individual. Haven is where I learn what it means to live. It’s where I learn to ask for help, and where I learn that I am good enough to help others. I am suported, encouraged, appreciated. I am loved. This place, this building, these incredible people; that is what makes Haven what it truly is: a place of sanctuary and safety, refuge and rest. A home for young people that changes lives. That is Haven.